Smashing Love
by Ruby's smegma
Summary: The newest Boy-Band is dominating the music industry. That is, until a new Girl-Band bursts into the scene and starts taking the world by storm. If the Boy-Band hopes to stay at the top of the charts, they need to know what they're up against... What will they find on their journey of learning about each other, and themselves? Friendship? Love? Goblin Darts? I don't even know.
1. Prologue: Thirsty Boys

Prologue: Thirsty Boys

 **This is just the prologue we ain't getting to the meat of the matter yet**

 **There will be no fucking this chapter**

 **If you don't like the word Pac or you just dont care about any character that aren't the main characters, skip this shit.**

 **I don't own Smash Bros. I would by now if Nintendo accepted my offer though.**

* * *

It was a miserably hot and dry day in the middle of the Pac-Desert, with no signs of Pac-Civilization to be seen anywhere. Not a single Pac-Cloud was in sight, giving no safe haven from the harsh Pac-Sun. A bus with the words "PUSSEE SMASHERS" emblazoned on the side with blue and red flames drives down the seemingly endless Pac-Road, tailed by a white van. Coarse Pac-Sand was blown by the warm Pac-Breeze, buffeting the windows of the two automobiles, leaving a number of small Pac-Scratches.

Inside the bus, protected from the unforgiving conditions of the Pac-Desert, was a group of teen boys, lounging about. The eldest of the boys scratched the side of his head with a bored look, running his fingers through his short, ruffled black hair. He yawned as he stretched his arms above his head, his muscles bulging through his white shirt. "Fuckin' Christ, this is takin' forever." He exclaimed in an exasperated tone.

"Complaining about it isn't going to make it go any quicker, Ryu." said a skinny blue haired boy lying down on the couch, strumming a guitar.

Ryu made a face of annoyance and crossed his arms in disapproval as a set of blue eyes glanced over to him. "lol nigga quit ur bitchin".

Quickly turning his head to the source of the taunt, Ryu glared at a blonde boy laying in the middle of the floor with his hands behind his head, staring at him with a cocky grin. "Don't make me kick your ass, Shulk." retorted the muscle bound young man, before throwing the nearest object at him, which just so happened to be a can of Pac-Peaches. Without a flinch Shulk caught the can and began tossing it into the air repeatedly.

"Whoa there babycakes, ya don't have to be so salty." He said with a shit-eating grin.

A tall, very pale man with sex viruses emerged from a back room of the bus, his hands on his hips in a dominating stance. "What in the world are you boys arguing about?" he questioned.

"Ryu is being a pouty fuckboi again" said Shulk, focusing on the can of Pac-Peaches he was tossing in the air. "Marth? What's actually going on here?"

"They're both being babies." Marth replied quickly, paying all his attention to his sick guitar riff. As Wii Fit Dad sighed, he returned to the room from whence he came, and Ryu turned to a short, muscular boy reading a body building magazine. He obviously learns a lot from the magazines, judging from the muscles bulging through his tank top.

"What do you think, Mac?" Ryu questioned.

"Don't drag me into this." He said quickly and simply.

Letting out a long exaggerated grunt, Ryu slammed his head back against the wall before shouting, "Mario! When the hell are we gonna get to Kanto?"

The big nosed, thick mustached bus driver wearing patriotically colored overalls and cap glances back quickly before returning his attention to the road and speaking with a loud voice, "It'll be-a-maybe another few hours."

It was sometimes a bit difficult to understand what he was saying with that thick foreign accent of his. But no one in the band wanted to bring it up, partly because no one wanted to offend him, and since he gets so defensive when the subject of where he's from comes up. The only thing the band has to go on about his origins is his accent, which sounds vaguely ethnic. They've narrowed it down to Greek, Italian, or Mexican.

Or something like that.

Shulk had now opened the can of Pac-Peaches and started snacking on them. "Hoo boy, we've got to deal with a whiney Ryu for another few hours then." He said with a full mouth.

"Hey Mario!" Marth shouted, trying to make his voice heard over the sound of the bus's engine and the Pac-Wind outside. "When is the next pit stop? We should probably break for lunch soon, and Shulk is hogging the last can of Pac-Peaches." Still paying minimal attention to anything other than the guitar he was shredding a tasty riff on. "We should-a-be arriving at Pac-Land in a few minutes" the mustachioed midget replied. Just then the bus engine went quiet and the vehicle started slowing.

"Oh no! We're-a-out of gas!" The driver said while pulling the vehicle to the side of the Pac-Road. Little Mac continued reading his magazine, completely unconcerned, while Marth finally put his guitar aside and moved to the front of the bus, accompanied by Ryu and Shulk. "What do you mean we're out of gas? I thought we filled up on gas back at Flat Zone!" Marth cried, with worry in his pussy fuckboi eyes.

Mario nervously took off his hat to scratch his head, "but Flat Zone was-a-long ways-a-back. We also didn't get-a-full tank, because the Game and Watches chased us out of town before we finished fueling." He said, returning his cap to his head.

"Ugh" Shulk groaned. "God damn Watch supremacists.

"But the roadie van should-a-have enough gas to make it to Pac-Land, so we can get-a-gas can to bring back. That should be enough to hold the bus off until we can get there." Explained Mario. Shulk leaned back against the stairs' handrail, prodding at a slimy slice of Pac-Peach with his index finger, seemingly not concerned about the situation at all. "Alright, you go with the roadies to get gas. We'll stay in the bus to make sure no one steals our shit." Said Ryu with a deep voice.

Mario glanced out the window to see the roadie van parking in front of them. Everyone watched a tall man jump out of the van and sprint to the bus, shielding his eyes from the relentless Pac-Sand.

Mario opened the door quickly to let the man in. Just after the man stepped into the bus, Mario closed the door to prevent any Pac-Sand from getting in. The tall man was much younger than he looks, being no older than 25. He wore a skin tight, blue jumpsuit, and a red helmet with a gold emblem on the front in the shape of a falcon. "What's holding you guys up? If we keep wasting time here, we'll never get to Kanto."

"Out of gas" replied Ryu, simply.

"Well the van probably has enough to make it to Pac-Land. Anyone wanna come with us?" The man questioned.

"No thanks, Captain Falcon." Shulk said, trying to sound disappointed. "But Mario oh, so graciously volunteered to brave the journey with you guys in our place." Shulk smirked; satisfied that he didn't have to leave.

"Thanks a million buddy" said Ryu while patting Mario on the back.

"Yeah Mario, thanks." Marth said while walking back to his guitar.

"Uh-huh" grunted Mac, still leafing through the body building magazine.

Mario looked back and forth between everyone with a nervous expression "b-but"

"C'mon! Let's get going!" Captain Falcon shouted while picking up Mario by the back of his collar. Kicking the doors open, Captain Falcon sprinted back towards the roadie van at an unbelievable speed. Honestly, how can he run so fast wearing combat boots?

Captain Falcon quickly tossed Mario into the back seat of the van, landing him next to a light gray and black robot. The robot made a whirring sound as he turned his head to Mario, giving him a nod of recognition. The patriotically colored bus driver pulled himself up into a sitting position, looking forward to see a gargantuan furry figure hunched over the steering wheel. Captain Falcon pulled a Dukes of Hazard through the window, effectively claiming shotgun, before excitedly yelling, "Punch it, DK!"

The giant monkey nodded and slammed his giant, hairless foot down onto the gas pedal. The van took off in a flash, making everyone sink into the back of their seats.

Mario buckled his seatbelt and heard a curious rattling noise from behind him. Looking back to see loads of equipment strewn about, presumably caused by the reckless driving of the ape behind the wheel. "So, uh.. R.O.B." Mario said in a shrunken voice. The robot once again turned to him, making eye contact between the bus drivers bright blue eyes, and the machines dark, empty camera lens' that seemed to stare into his soul.

Unsure of what to say, he asks "What-a-kind of tech do you work with?" R.O.B. replied with a high-pitched whir while lifting his arms and shoulders up and down a few times.

"Excuse-a-me?" Mario turned his head to the side, confused. From the front seat, Captain Falcon looked back to the two of them, saying "R.O.B. just said they work with the amps and the light's and stuff." "They?" Mario repeated in a curious manner. "R.O.B. doesn't have a gender. So we refer to them as they/them, none of that he/she crap."

Tapping his white gloved finger against his chin, Mario replied with "oh, because robots don't-a-have genders?" "Some do. But R.O.B. doesn't want to identify with either genders."

"Hm. Weird."

"Not weird. Just different"

"So what do you-a-do here, Captain Falcon?" questioned Mario. Captain Falcon slouched into his seat shifting until he was comfortable. "I'm kinda like the stage bodyguard. I make sure random audience members don't jump onto stage to try to molest the band." Mario quietly listened, slightly surprised at his bluntness. "But hey, it's paying for the tuition, and it's a hell of a lotta fun pushin people back. Good workout for the muscles, y'know?" Falcon said with a smirk.

"Tuition? You-a-mean like college?" Mario replied with admiration. He was starting to enjoy being with the other roadies, not the band members that kinda act like total pricks.

Putting his feet up on the dashboard and his hands behind his head, the man replied with "Yeah. I'm majoring in mechanical engineering. Ultimately, what I really want to do is work on the cars that do Nascar races." With a smile completed his answer with "But what would be REALLY great is if I could be a Nascar driver myself."

Looking towards the enormous monkey driving the van, Mario questioned "So-a-why are you here?" The ape responded with a short grunt so deep, it may have made the ground shake.

"DK's story is a bit complicated, but believe me when I say this. No one will ever get backstage unauthorized if he's on the job."

DK let loose an alarming chatter as he bounced up and down in his seat, patting on the co-pilots shoulder urgently. The contact didn't look like it had any foul intentions behind them, but judging by the sound, Captain Falcon is going to have a nasty bruise there by morning. Clutching his shoulder and grimacing in pain, he cried out "Viet Christ, Kong! What the hell has gotten into you?" DK, still bouncing up and down, repeatedly tapped on the fuel gauge, which was pointing to E.

"Aw, man…"

Like the bus, the van's engine whimpered until it eventually stopped all together. After pulling off to the side, DK put the car in park then exited through the door, walking on all fours down the Pac-Road towards their destination.

"Well, it's too hot in here for any of us to stay. I guess we're walking from here." Falcon said as he too left the van following the giant monkey.

Mario and R.O.B. soon joined them until Captain Falcon took a few steps backwards, saying "damn, I almost forgot something. Keep going, I'll be back in a jiffy." Captain Falcon then ran back towards the van, disappearing through the shroud of the Pac-Sand-Storm.

Mario slowly shuffled forward, sweat dripping down his face. He hadn't felt heat like this since he was back in his homeland. Oh, how he missed his homeland of-

"Alright! We're all good now." Falcon said after playfully slapping Mario on the back. Captain Falcon was panting heavily from running in the Pac-Heat, holding a strange pink blob under his arm.

"What-a-the hell is that thing?"

"Oh, this is just the band blow-up doll. It's pretty gross, isn't it? I already had to go back to lock the van, and the band would be pissed if anything happened to this thing, so I'll take it with us so we know it's safe." With two fingers Captain Falcon held it up by its arm, not wanting to touch it any more than he needed to. "This thing only has a mouth hole, so we call it Kirby. Cuz', y'know. It sucks. Like a vacuum." After hearing this, DK looked back at them before scoffing and continuing on.

The farther they went, the more doomed they felt. The Pac-Heat was starting to make them Pac-Delirious, the lack of water making them really thirsty boys (and R.O.B.). "I think I see Pac-Land up there" Said Falcon with a raspy voice, feeling exhausted.

R.O.B. didn't feel any different than normal, thanks to being a robot. But the cracked Pac-Road made it hard to advance with their wheels getting caught and what not. DK kept on, completely unaffected like a mother fuckin' unstoppable badass, while Mario collapsed to the Pac-Floor. The roadies huddled around him, contemplating whether they would eat him or not if he had died.

Mario slowly opened his eyes, seeing not the roadies, but a group of men wearing black suits and sun glasses. "Oh no! Not-a-the feds!" he screamed, jumping to his feet and backing away from them. "Whoa, he's really lost it." Captain Falcon muttered to DK and R.O.B. "Mario, we just gotta go a little further to get to Pac-Land. Then we can get some Pac-Water, alright?"

Mario ran off the Pac-Road towards the middle of Pac-Nowhere, screaming "You can't-a-make me go back! I'm-a-here legally!"

R.O.B. moved forward as fast as they could, their tiny plastic wheels kicking up Pac-Dirt. Positioning themselves in front of Mario, they performed a flawless low jump, and hit Mario square in the Chest with his 'back air', sending the totally legal (or is he?) foreigner flying backwards, tumbling on the Pac-Ground until finally coming to a halt.

Captain Falcon ran to Mario's side, checking to make sure he was alright. "God damn, R.O.B.! You could have killed him!"

R.O.B. slowly rolled their way back to the others, making whirring noises to defend their case.

"Yeah, but-"

*whir*

"R.O.B., quit trying to justify it!" Captain Falcon said, swinging Kirby the blow-up-doll forward and slapping them in their stupid looking robotic face.

In reaction, R.O.B. came at Captain Falcon, arms-a-swingin, until DK stepped in. "OOH AAH AH AH" Dankey Kang exclaimed as he held them back with his giant gorilla hands.

They flailed about trying to bridge the gap so they could beat the shit out of each other, until both of them accidentally punched DK right in the fuckin' kisser. DK's face darkened as he started to squeeze the both of them. Suddenly, he lifted them up above his head, then behind his back as he jumped up, and spiked them into the Pac-Ground.

Both Captain Falcon and R.O.B. bounced off of the Pac-Ground until they could get back onto their feet, the Kirby blow-up-doll rolling about on the Pac-Floor.

R.O.B. spun a top and released it towards Donkey Kong, but he short hopped over it like a fuckin' champ and continued his charge toward them.

Just as DK was going to bring the smack down on R.O.B., Captain Falcon leaped forward with an extended leg, flames surrounding him. He knocked both of them into the air, and then waited for them to come back down to his level. Pulling back his fist in preparation, he readied his ultimate attack for when they came back down to earth.

"Falcon…."

DK and R.O.B. continued plummeting down right next to each other. As DK looked over to Captain Falcon, he saw fire starting to surround his fist. "PAWNCH!" His fist sped forward, summoning a falcon made of flames.

Right before the attack could hit, DK performed a sick mid-air dodge, the fist barely missing him. The flames licked at his fur, singeing the short brown strands as the conjured pyro-bird flew past him.

As R.O.B. dropped down, the fist connected to their mechanical chest, cracks forming on the hard plastic. With a flash of black and red thunder, R.O.B. was sent flying through the Pac-Air, exploding into a pillar of fire.

DK steadied himself and kicked Captain Falcon far back. Like, maybe 15 feet or so. DK is a fucking monster though he can send you flying with no effort.

Regaining his balance, Captain Falcon extended his arm straight in front of him, Motioning with his fingers, challenging DK to advance toward him. "COME ON!"

DK sprinted towards him as Captain Falcon began to charge another punch. "FALCON…"

When DK arrived right in front him, it seemed like there would be no avoiding the powerful punch. Luckily, DK doesn't take shit from anybody

like he straight up could kill someone just by flexing.

"PA-"

Before the move could finish, DK quickly rolled behind him, and gave him a hardcore headbutt that buried him into the Pac-Ground. Captain Falcon struggled, trying to free himself. But alas, he was Pac-Buried up to chest, there was no escaping. He looked back to see DK swinging his fist in a circular motion, steam rising from his head.

As DK swung his enormous fuckin' fist forward, it hit Captain Falcon in the fucking face, breaking his nose. He went flying like a god damn bullet then he blew the fuck up because I fuckin' told you DK can beat anyone up.

Donkey Kong stood there with a scowl, his fists shaking involuntarily, anger having taken complete control over him. A slight Pac-Breeze came through, taking along with it, waves of Pac-Sand, and the Kirby blow-up doll, which hit DK in the face before falling to the ground and sliding a few feet like a cheap birthday balloon filled with oxygen and not helium.

DK snarled and began barreling towards the disgusting doll. But suddenly, he tripped forward and landed right on his ass. Like, fucking seriously, Nintendo? Tripping is such a dumb mechanic that isn't fun at all it takes away from the skill required to play that's why Project M took it out because it's total bullshit I mean it has a 1% chance to randomly happen like that's not even fucking fun its like they're trying to make every game less like melee which was the last GOOD smash game.

That's why the fans created Project M because Brawl was fuckin awful like there is absolutely no skill required to dodge roll everywhere and why did they take out ledge guarding from smash 4 it was a legitimate move that actually required skill to pull off but they just took it out like there would be no consequences but the true fans noticed its almost as if they're trying to punish the TRUE diehard fans of smash with their bullshit.

The only good decision they made with Smash 4 was to bring back Roy because he was an actual original fighter and not a clone like all the fuckin idiots say because Roy doesn't look like Marth and he also has fire Marth didn't have fire so ha they're not clones.

DK tripped, and fell to the Pac-Ground, lying on his back. When he tried to bring himself back up though, a harsh Pac-Wind blew by, pushing Kirby straight into his face with incredible force. DK was sent flying until he exploded into flames. Kirby was left sitting on the ground, claiming the victory for the fierce battle.

You should never let your guard down in a battle, even though it is hard to expect the unexpected.

And no one expects the blow-up doll.

The group awoke in a pile, with no memory of what happened. So they all just went back to the road and kept fuckin walking until they got to god damn Pac-Land.

When they arrived, they were greeted by a very friendly Pac-Man. "Welcome! It seems that you've stumbled upon Pac-Land! How can I Pac-Help you folks?"

"Wait; are you THE Pac-Man? The famous fashion designer?" Captain Falcon asked.

"Nope! I'm just a Pac-Regular Pac-Man!" he said smiling.

"Oh, sorry. You just kinda look exactly the same" Falcon muttered as he scratched the back of his head.

"Well now, lets calm down there with the Pac-Racism! Now, how can I Pac-Help you Pac-Folks?"

"We ran out of-a-gas down the road" Mario said, weakly.

"Alrighty then! The Pac-Gas station is right over there! " The enthusiastic Pac-Man exclaimed, pointing towards a Pac-Building down the Pac-Road. "Be careful though! Go too far and you'll end up in the Pac-Ghetto! That's where all the ghosts live!"

Walking towards the Pac-Building, they noticed that the Pac-Sign actually said 'Pac-Gas station'. Entering the Pac-Gas station, everyone except cpt crunch faclon made a bee-line to the Pac-Beverage section, because straight up they are thirsty boys.

Captain Falcon picked up two gas cans with the words 'Pac-Gas' on them and brought the pair over to the Pac-Counter. Behind the Pac-Counter was another Pac-Man, busy hanging boxes of Pac-Condoms onto their respective Pac-Pegs, and putting Pac-Cigarettes behind a glass Pac-Door.

"…Excuse me?" Falcon said, lightly knocking his fist against the Pac-Counter trying to get the Pac-Mans Pac-Attention.

Turning around, the Pac-Man's face lit up with a Pac-Smile. "Welcome! You've stumbled upon the Pac-Gas station! How can I Pac-Help you?"

"Uhhh… Does Pac-Gas work on Non-Pac-Engines?"

"What a silly Pac-Question! Of Pac-Course it Pac-Does!"

"Well alright then" Captain Falcon said as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. "Do you accept Non-Pac-Money?"

"Look buddy we're in fucking America of course we take real money Pac-Money doesn't even exist you Pac-Dip-Shit."

"Cool."

Just then the rest of the group slammed their beverages onto the counter. R.O.B. had a can of Pac-Oil, DK had a Pac-Banana smoothie, and Mario had some weird foreign bullshit you always see at gas stations.

"We'll take all this and 30 dollars on pump #1." Captain Falcon said, putting his money on the Pac-Counter.

"Very good sir!" the Pac-Man happily rang up all the items and bagged them. "Have a nice Pac-Day!" The Pac-Man, with a huge Pac-Smile on his Pac-Face, watching them leave through the Pac-Door.

"What-a-the hell is wrong with this place?" Mario muttered.

After filling up the 2 Pac-Gas cans, they walked down the Pac-Street towards the long Pac-Highway leading to the van. The loud noise of a Pac-Engine roaring behind them made the turn their heads. "Hello again, our honored Pac-Visitors!" the Pac-Man shouted over his Pac-Cars Pac-Engine as he pulled up next to them.

Captain falcon took one glance at the strange roofless vehicle and asked "What kind of car is this?"

"Why, it's a Pac-Mustang, of Pac-Course! It's only the hottest Pac-Car of the Pac-Season!"

Mario took a quick look at the car and asked "Can you-a-give us a lift to our van, a-pretty-please?"

"Sure! Not a Pac-Problem! Hop in!" He yelled, pulling Mario into the passenger's seat.

Everyone got into the car and The Pac-Man took off like a Pac-Bat out of Pac-Hell.

As they finally arrived at their van, the worn out roadies piled out of the Pac-Mustang. Their backs hunched, and their arms dangling, they stumbled their way towards the safety of the van.

R.O.B. still didn't give a shit though.

"Thank you so much for giving us the lift!" Mario thanked the Regular-Man. Mario felt as if the 'thank you' itself took too much of his limited energy.

"Don't even worry about! It was a pleasure! I mean, at the end of the day, we're all Regular-People, right?"

"...Wait. Where's the 'Pac' in that statement?" Captain Falcon mumbled.

The Regular-Man looked at them with mild surprise until he spoke, "Oh! You guys don't know! When not in Pac-Land, Pac-People become Regular-People! So right now I'm Regular-Man! Well, I'm off to pick up some Pac-Bitches! See you guys later!" and just like that, the Regular-Man was gone.

"Let's get the hell out of here A.S.A.P." Captain Falcon said while filling the van with Pac-Gas.

The ride back to the bus was quiet, no one wanting to speak of the Pac-Horrors they experienced in Pac-Land. Pulling up to the bus, they filled the tank with the small amount of Pac-Gas that they had before explaining the situation to the band members. "We have enough Pac-Gas to get-a-to Pac-Land, so we're going to-a-fill up there and leave." Mario explained.

"We're going to stop for food though, right? We're starving here." Marth said.

"We're just going to get Pac-Gas and leave as soon as possible" Captain Falcon said, blankly staring at the floor, cringing after realizing he actually used Pac as a prefix.

Shulk looked at him, confused. "Should I even ask?" he queried. R.O.B. looked directly at Shulk and shook their head, the sound of mechanical parts shifting the only sound filling the silent bus. "Let's just get going already" said Little Mac, still in the same spot, still reading the same magazine.

The drive back to Pac-Land went off without a hitch. When they pulled into the Pac-Gas station, Captain Falcon sprinted out of the van, slamming a credit card into the Pac-Slot and topping off the vans gas tank as quickly as Pac-Possible.

Mario did the same with the bus, keeping his head down in hopes that no Pac-Men will see him.

The sound of the bus door opening made Captain Falcon flinch. He looked over to see Ryu climbing down the stairs then casually walking towards the main Pac-Building of the Pac-Gas station.

Falcon sprinted towards Ryu and started dragging him back to the bus. "What the hell are you doing!" exclaimed Captain Falcon in a hushed tone.

"Calm down, I'm just going to grab some food." Ryu replied, breaking away from his grip and continued towards the Pac-Building.

"No no no no no! They might see y-"Captain Falcon stopped dead in his tracks as he looked through the Pac-Buildings Pac-Window to see the Pac-Cashier smiling at them.

"Get back in the bus" Captain Falcon pleaded urgently. "Before it's too late."

The Pac-Man walked out of the Pac-Store to Pac-Greet them. "Howdy again! Who's your friend here?" He said with a big Pac-Smile.

"Um, this is just my friend Ryu and we're just passing through here really quick because we're in a really big hurry" Captain Falcon said quickly trying to pull Ryu back to the bus.

"That's Pac-Fantastic! Do you need any help with anything?"

Captain Falcon was getting desperate now, putting all his weight into pulling Ryu back, but Ryu was unfazed.

"Actually I wanted to pick up something to eat." Ryu stated.

"Alright! Inside we've got plenty of Pac-Snacks! Just take your Pac-Pick!"

Ryu groaned, crossing his arms. "I was hoping for something bigger than snacks." Ryu stated, making Pac-Man smile.

"Well, in that Pac-Case…" Pac-Man muttered as he checked to see if anyone was around before leaning in and whispering, "The Pac-ening is happening tonight."

Captain Falcon looked around nervously, hoping no extra Pac-Men would pop out. "Uh yeah that's great but we really need t-"

"What the hell is the Pac-ening?"

Captain Falcon had to fight the urge to punch Ryu in the back of the head for asking that.

The Pac-Man slowly nodded with a disturbing smile and said "The Pac-ening is when all the Pac-People of Pac-Land go out and Pac-Cleanse the Pac-World of all the inferior beings, known as ghosts." He chuckled, making Ryu start to feel uncomfortable.

Pac-Man pulled out a bag with several yellow orbs in them, taking one and presenting it to the startled young adults.

"These power pellets will make you unstoppable. With these, you become invincible to the ghosts, allowing you to Pac-Eat their delicious Ghost-Flesh." Pac-Man stared at them darkly.

The sound of someone clearing their throat caused Ryu and Captain Falcon to look back and see Mario standing in the doorway of the bus giving a thumbs up.

"I'll have to pass on that one. You have fun with your murders" said Ryu, briskly walking back to the bus.

"Oh, trust me. You're going to be missing out on a good Pac-Time!"

The bus engine roared to life and drove off into the night. Captain Falcon jumped through the van window into the passenger seat sloppily. Landing on his shoulder, his feet hanging out the window, he shouted, "GO!"

DK wasted no time in dropping the hammer (gas pedal), sending them down the road like a bullet. The crew looked back, through the rear window, to see the Pac-Man standing in the same place, staring at them with his dark empty eyes and large sinister grin.

"Oh shit, I just remembered" Captain Falcon groaned while pulling himself up.

R.O.B. let out a questioning sound that robots make I don't fuckin know.

Don't blame me for that shitty sentence, I'm just the god damn editor I don't fucking know what the fuck the writer is trying to say even. The original statement was "roB ley our a questtonen boobledop". Do you fucking see what I have to deal with? I don't even have to fucking worry about saying all this shit here. That fucker probably doesn't even check what I edit. Fuck you, Ruby's Smegma.

Dragging his hand down his face, Captain Falcon grunted, "I forgot Kirby in the desert."

* * *

"So," Shulk stated with one hand behind his head, while he inspected his other. "How much longer do we have?" he said before blowing away a speck of dirt he'd pulled out from under his nail. If you think that's gross get fucking used to it because guys do that no rhyme or reason to it because guys aren't squeamish fuckbois.

Mario grumbled, trying his hardest to stay awake. Little Mac finally stood up from his seat, moving towards the front of the bus.

"Hey, guys. Check it out."

Marth, Shulk, and Ryu stood up together and joined Little Mac at the head of the bus, looking through the windshield. They saw a large sign with large text and a symbol behind it, of a red and white ball. The text read,

"YOU ARE NOW ENTERING, KANTO"

* * *

 **Thank you very much for reading the beginning of my story! I worked soooooooo hard on it:)!**

 **I also want to thank my amazing editor! They're the best! 3**


	2. Chapter 1: The Pussee Smashers Unwind

Chapter 1: The Pussee Smashers Unwind

 **HI EVERYONE! 3**

 **i Finnaly finished withh chapter 2! i worked really hard on this one so i really hope you like itttt!333**

* * *

The clacking noise of luggage bag wheels making contact with the concrete entryway of the Viridian City Luxury Hotel interrupts the ambience of cars driving down the night street. Rain drizzled down from the black clouds onto the hotels giant canopy, making a soothing patter. Mario stood in front of the bus's luggage compartment, trying his best to pull the bags; his arms shaking in exhaustion.

Marth, Ryu, and Shulk climbed down the bus stairs, taking a deep breath of the cool, moist air. The relaxing scent of precipitation filled their nostrils. It was a nice change of pace from the musk of teenage boy sweat. Two Mr. Game and Watch's, one a mustard yellow, the other ice blue, hurried their way towards Mario, making high pitched clacking noises as they sprung forward. The two flat figures unloaded the remaining bags for Mario in sudden, jittery movements, and then hustled to the spotless glass double door entrance of the hotel.

Little Mac and Wii Fit Dad Manager Dad finally made their way out of the bus, as the bands Roadies pulled their van into the parking lot. Wii Fit Dad jogged over to the van, his steps causing splashes in small puddles. The Boy-Band let out a collective yawn as they sauntered over to the hotels front door. Little Mac grabbed the left door's crescent shaped handle with his rough, boxing tape covered hand, his other hand holding his two drumsticks which he lightly tapped against his leg. Marth opened the other door out of courtesy and noticed the shiny gold colored handles felt smooth, and cold to the touch.

They swung the doors open in unison, and a pleasant aroma wafted out from the hotel, as if the hotel itself was welcoming them. Marth and Ryu entered, soon followed by Little Mac and Shulk. Taking a quick look around the lobby, their mouths dropped in amazement.

The brightly illuminated room was enormous, probably bigger than an average house. In the center of the room was a beautiful marble fountain with water flowing over the lips of the top bowl, into the larger one below it, which flowed over to the larger one even farther below that, until finally splashing into the pool of water surrounding the fountain.

On either side of the pathway to the front desk were waiting areas filled with couches, and tables with flowers in beautiful vases sitting on them. Everyone's eyes were trying to take in as much of the scene as possible, their eyes darting from place to place, until they saw the giant marble pillars attached to the wall. The pillars led up to the tall ceiling, in the middle of which was a large chandelier, with hundreds of shining gem shaped pieces of glass dangling from several outstretched ostentatious metal arms that held lit wax candles.

You get the idea. It was fucking fancy.

The doors behind them opened and the two Mr. Game and Watch's walked past them, pushing a luggage cart with their bags in it. Wii Fit Dad entered behind them, proceeding to the front desk to get the keys to their reserved hotel rooms.

Marth slowly took two steps forward and said "I thought this place was going to be the type of 5-Star Hotel that rock stars would go to, not the type of 5-Star Hotel the Queen of Hyrule would go to. I'm feeling out of place here" he was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that this was just the lobby.

"If it really makes you so uncomfortable, you can sleep in the bus for another night" said Ryu, slapping Marths shoulder while walking towards the front of the room, his sneakers squeaking on the polished floor.

"Really though, this totally ain't our style at all. I can't even tell if I should take my hat off or not." Shulk remarked. He scratched his head through his red backwards cap. Suddenly his face lit up and he asked "Hey, do you think they'd be mad if I took off my shoes and slid around the floor in my socks?

"Not a bad idea, actually." Ryu turned back to them. "This place might be pretty good for skating…" he scratched his chin and his voice trailed off in thought.

"Please don't get us kicked out on our first night here." Little Mac said suddenly, his face looking both serious, and tired.

Wii Fit Dad approached them with the room keys in his hand. "You'll be staying on the top floor. Look for room number one." He said as he tossed Marth the key. "You've got it to yourselves, so I trust you to not totally destroy the place" Wii Fit Dad remarked before jogging off behind them, towards the front door.

Wii Fit Dad met with the Roadies to give them their room keys as Mac, Marth, Ryu and Shulk walked towards the elevator.

Immediately after pressing the button, the doors opened, letting them in. The Mr. Game and Watch's hurried into the elevator with them, pushing the luggage cart. After they pressed the button for the top floor, the elevator sprung upwards.

"How fancy do you think our room will be?" questioned Shulk while he tapped his fingers against the button panel he was leaning on.

"Ridiculously fancy, if it's anything like the lobby" Marth replied.

Then there was complete silence, save for the low hum of the elevator making its speedy ascent, and Little Mac slapping his drumsticks against his knees while tapping his foot and nodding his head to an imaginary rhythm.

When the elevator came to a halt and opened its doors, a large white door was directly in front of them. Everyone took a moment to observe the door, and saw the carving of a sword pointing downwards, with what looked like waves flowing away on either side of it. After admiring the excellent craftsmanship, they approached the door and prepared themselves for the moment of truth as Shulk raised the card key to the same level of the slot.

"Wait, hold up." Shulk suddenly yelped excitedly, as he pulled the key further back from the doors lock.

"What are you doing, Shulk?" Little Mac said with a sigh.

"Let's just take this time to savor the moment."

The rest of the boys groaned and rolled their eyes, all of them clearly fed up with Shulk's bullshit.

"Alrighty then, deep breath everyone." Shulk instructed. Shulk closed his eyes and leaned back while slowly breathing in through his wide open mouth. His chest expanding as his lungs filled with air, he then breathed the air out in a steady stream, the others' eyes staring daggers at him under furrowed brows.

"Okay, good. Now…"

They shifted about, waiting for him to open the door.

"One more deep breath."

Ryu impatiently shoved Shulk out of the way and slammed the card into the slot. Immediately after the red light flicked to green, Ryu turned the knob and threw the door open. Everyone was greeted with a giant lounge area, a couch directly in the center, pointing to a huge T.V that must be at least 70 inches.

"Where the hell are the beds?" questioned Ryu.

Mr. Game and Watch jittered in front of them and motioned his hand with a bleep boop sound, drawing their attention to a spiral staircase that rose to a loft with 4 bedroom doors, and a glass door that led to a porch that overlooked the city.

"This whole thing is a hotel room?" said Marth in amazement.

"Well," said Shulk as he walked through the doorway. "I'll just start getting comfortable then"; He smirked as he vaulted himself over the back of the couch, landing on the soft cushions with a bounce.

The Game and Watch's unloaded their luggage with gusto, and held out their hands to the group expectantly.

Ah shit they were supposed to give them a tip.

"I…Uhhh…hey, guys?" said Marth, looking back. He then realized that everyone had disappeared except for Shulk, who was in his own little world.

Marth groaned nervously and reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. Unfortunately he wasn't the type of person to keep a reasonable amount of money on him; Wii Fit Dad Manager usually took care of money stuff. But since Wii Fit Dad wasn't here, Marth had to take the responsible role here. Looking through his wallet, he saw that he only had a five dollar bill and a gift card to Chili's with about $2.34 on it because Chili's is pretty fuckin expensive.

Like, why does it cost so much. There isn't even anything gluten free there.

I went there with my bud Victor one time and he couldn't eat anything with gluten in it aka anything on the fuckin menu so he just sat there and watched me and our other bros eat.

Just go to fuckin Applebee's.

Keep in mind this is the editor, not Ruby's Smegma. I'm not sure if Ruby's Smegma even has friends.

Pulling out the card and dolla dolla bill (ya'll), he handed the money to the blue Game and Watch, and reluctantly gave the gift card to the yellow one.

"Uh… Here. Don't spend it all in one place." Said Marth, while he gently patted them on the back, seemingly to thank them for their hard work, but really he was trying to push them out the door before they got super pissed. After they eventually got pushed out, Marth closed the door behind them, leaning against it and letting out a sigh of relief.

"Nice moves there, slick." Shulk joked, laughing. Shulk leaned forward to grab the television remote off of the coffee table. He pressed the on button and the T.V. came to life. He smiled and propped his feet up on the table.

Marth rolled his eyes and ascended the stairs with his bag in hand, picking the room closest to the stairs. He tossed his bag down with a loud thud, and then jumped backwards onto the bed, bouncing back up slightly before sinking into the memory foam mattress.

"I'm going down to the pool." Stated Ryu, walking past Marth's open door; the only reply he got was a bunch of grumbling from Marth and a "yeah sure whatever" from Shulk. Ryu didn't mind, he didn't even expect anyone to hear him at all. He walked out into the hallway and once again entered the elevator. His finger trailed down the array of buttons in front of him, before finally pushing a button marked with the word "pool".

* * *

Shulk was on the couch, flipping through the T.V. channels with a bored look on his face, glancing at the names of different shows, searching for something that might catch his eye. There was some weird sitcom, an hour long infomercial for a gimmicky exercise machine, a news report about some Pac-Men being arrested for cult activity; none of these sounded remotely interesting to him. He eventually settled for some show called "Smash celeb watch". Marth silently sat down on the couch next to him, putting his feet up on the table next to Shulks. The show briefly discussed the concert the Pussee Smashers would be playing before moving on to a concert for some new girl band.

* * *

Ryu wandered down an empty hallway, looking down hallways that branched off as he went. Even though this floor was supposed to be dedicated to the pool, there was a lot of unnecessary bullshit here. He kept walking until he rounded a corner to see a girl drinking from a water fountain, holding her long blonde hair back. She was wearing a pink one-piece swimsuit, which flaunted her body's curves as she bent over the water fountain. Blue earrings dangled from her ear lobes, shining brightly in the light. Ryu was checkin' her out and started looking at her butt. She had a pretty nice butt. Ryu is a guy, okay? Guys notice these things.

She stood up straight and ran her thumb across the corner of her lip, careful not to smear her pink lipgloss. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, and turned to him in surprise. "H-hi" she said nervously, her hands coming together in front of her belly as she subtly rubbed her thumbs together, looking away with a blush tingeing her cheeks.

Ryu now took the time to notice that she also a nice rack. Again, he's a guy. Guys notice these things.

"Is the pool down this way?" he questioned with his deep voice.

She lifted her arm up to point to a huge window that interrupted the wall; behind it he could see the pool. It was so painfully obvious; He wondered how he had missed it. Perhaps the doctor really did mean it when he said he had a disorder. What was it again? Something something defecate disorder? Whatever.

"Ah. Thanks." He said, walking towards the pool doors. She let out a short, high pitched hum in response and followed him to the pool room, walking slowly to keep her distance.

 _'_ _the hell is up with her?_ He thought to himself.

Hey it's your boy the editor again. I think I'm starting to go fucking crazy from editing these stories. Like, Ruby's Smegma barely makes her intentions clear in her writing. I've had to guess with over half of this shit. I'm still stuck doing it, because she told her parents that this is all just some school project that she needs help with. They don't even know it's a fanfiction. It's not like I can just stop doing it; her parents are rich as fuck but are too cheap to hire a tutor so they'll be pissed if I refuse to help her. I'm not even the best at writing, but at least I'm better than her. Like, she doesn't even send me a word document through email or anything; she just drops off a notepad at my front door and runs away. So not only do I have to copy the whole thing onto my computer, but I also have to try to read her handwriting. So basically, I'll try to add more realism to the guys in this story. Because she sure as hell can't write guys. I'm not sure if she can write girls either. Ok, I think I've said enough now. I just need to vent my anger somehow. So let's just keep this a secret. This is your boy, the editor, signing off.

"What's the name of this band again?" Marth questioned.

"Babe Brawlers, I think." Shulk replied.

"Kinda weird name isn't it?" Marth said, resting his elbow on the couch's armrest.

"Our band name is Pussee Smashers, ya dingus."

Marth thought about it for a few seconds, then let out a noise that let Shulk know that he agreed with him. It was kinda like an "eh" sound.

On screen, one of the girls was being interviewed. Marth felt his heart beat quicken when he looked at her face. The way she elegantly pushed strands of russet hair behind her cute pointed ears with her gloved hand, the way her light blue eyes payed attention with a perfect amount of maturity and tenderness. She made him feel like his heart was about to burst.

She was easily the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

He was so caught up in the moment, he didn't even notice her name appearing at the bottom of the screen.

She spoke in such a sophisticated manner, slowly and clearly. Marth wasn't even listening to the words she was saying; all he could hear was the sound of her soothing voice, along with the sound of his own heart beating intensely.

Basically she was attractive.

He smiled and put his elbow on his knee, about to rest his chin on the heel of his palm. But he was too entranced with the girl on the screen; and didn't notice himself start to slip off the couch. The feeling of falling snapped him back to reality as he tore his eyes off the T.V.

He hit his tail bone right on the ground, letting out a yelp of pain. He grabbed the coffee table to pull himself back up, and finally noticed the girls name at the bottom of the screen. Before he had the chance to read it, the girl and her name disappeared and the T.V. started showing the show hosts talking at their desk again. The only thing he saw of her name was 'Z_'. He lied back down on the couch and quietly moaned as he closed his eyes, imagining the face of the girl once again.

* * *

Ryu sauntered into the pool room, looking around to see plenty of pool chairs near the wall. The pool was rather big, probably Olympic sized, and since it was so late, no one was swimming in it. He spied a Jacuzzi near the back of the room with three girls in it, one with blonde hair, one with brown hair, and the other with blue hair. The shy girl from the hallway scurried past him to join the others in the hot tub.

He chose a random chair to throw his towel onto, before lifting his shirt over his head, exposing his muscle bound abs and chest. After he threw his shirt down on top of his towel, he walked to the pool preparing to jump in. Before he did this, he looked back to the girls in the hot tub; he saw them looking over at him, and leaning towards each other to whisper in their each other's ears.

 _"_ _They probably recognize me from the band"_ he assured himself.

He dove into the pool, and felt the chlorinated water envelop him in a cold embrace. He stayed under the water for a while, enjoying the feeling of the chilly liquid surrounding his entire body, until he had to come back to the surface for air. Kicking his legs to propel himself upwards, he broke surface and took in a deep breath. He reached his muscular arm up to run his fingers through his wet, tangled hair.

Looking around the room once more to take in the scenery, he accidentally saw the girls in the hot tub again, who were still peeking over at him from time to time.

He again brushed it off and started swimming from one end of the pool to the other in a casual manner.

After a while of swimming from end to end and diving to the bottom of the pool, he grabbed the side to rest for a while. He put his hand up to his mouth to yawn, and heard faint giggling coming from the hot tub.

 _Are they still…._

He subtly turned his head, trying to get a look at them in his peripheral vision.

 _Yep, still looking at me._

 _Aw, fuck it. Might as well give it a shot._ He muttered to himself as he pulled himself out of the water, water dripping down his abs that was more defined than a bar of chocolate. They looked just as tasty as a bar of chocolate, too.

He ruffled his hair around to get rid of excess water, and approached the hot tub. "Room for one more?" he asked.

* * *

"Okay, hold on a second."

"huh"

"So, a Girl-band is like a Boy-Band… but with girls?" Shulk stated questioningly.

"uh huh" Marth muttered, still lost in thought.

"Whoa." Shulk stared at the T.V. in amazement. "That's genius."

"uh huh"

"And the point of this is boys are supposed to have crushes on them or whatever, right?"

"m-hmm"

Shulk eyed one of the girls onscreen, smirking. "Well they do a pretty good job of that, for sure."

* * *

The four girls in the hot tub looked at each other before the brunette and one of the blondes silently slid away from each other to create an empty space. Just as silently, he carefully dropped himself in, trying not to create a splash. He settled in, feeling the hot water warm his body, relaxing his muscles. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

He hadn't realized just how tired he was until he was on the brink of sleep. He was about to pass out then and there, until a finger gently poked his left shoulder. Lazily rolling his head over with squinted eyes, he saw a blonde girl with her hair tied back into a pony tail. She was fully focused on poking the muscles on his shoulder. Without taking her eyes off of the rock solid muscle she was poking, she asked him, "These are real, right?"

"I'm pretty sure, yeah." He replied in a tired voice, moving his arms behind him to pull himself up slightly, to let his legs hang in the water.

"So you don't use steroids or anything?" she questioned, still poking him.

"Not to my knowledge."

She shifted her focus down to his chest and started lightly hitting his hella swole pecs with the bottom of her closed fist. "What about these?"

He motioned his hand from his shoulder down to the top of his abs. "Everything you see here is authentic, sweet cheeks." He said in reply

"If you're gonna keep giving me a poundin' can you at least tell me your name?"

"Zero Suit Samus"

"Your first name is Zero?"

"No, my first name is Zero Suit Samus. My parents hated me."

"Kay' then. I'll call you Sammy. My name's Ryu."

"Ugh." She looked away and crossed her arms in front of her chest with a frown. Ryu was guessing she didn't like the nickname he had given her.

The shy girl from the hallway sat there, twirling a strand of her hair with her finger, the rest of her hair resting on the tile floor behind her. "M… My name is Peach…" she said, making very brief eye contact before looking down at the lock of blonde hair she was fiddling with, a blush covering her face the whole time.

"I'm Zelda." Said the other girl next to him, and she held out her hand to him.

After he shook her hand, he noticed the girl with blue hair across from him had her arms resting on the rim of the tub, staring off into some imaginary land.

"…and you are?" Ryu finally said after a few seconds of awkward silence.

She looked him in the eyes, and then checked up and down his body. Well, what she could see of his body at least.

"Lucina", she spoke with a bored face, and then turned her face to stare off into space once again.

"So," Ryu said while scratching the back of his head. "What brings you girls to Kanto?"

* * *

Nearly an hour later, Shulk and Marth were still watching 'Smash Celeb Watch'. They had no god damn idea how long this show was going to go on, but they kept on watching. At least the story about the Girl Band was kind of entertaining.

They heard a click as Ryu entered the room, closing the door behind him. He approached the couch while rubbing his hair with the slightly damp towel.

"What are you guys watching?" Ryu questioned.

"I dunno. It's something about a new Girl Band." said Shulk, scratching his cheek. "Some of em were actually pretty hot."

"You should have seen em' though." Marth let out a sigh and leaned back.

"Oh yeah" Shulk said, slapping his knee. "Marth was poppin a god damn boner over one of those chicks." He said laughing.

"That hot, huh?" stated Ryu as he leaned on the couch to get a better view of the T.V.

"Yeah" Marth sighed. "I can't remember her name though" He groaned and rubbed is temple with two fingers. "I think it started with a Z or something… I dunno, the one with the brown hair." Marth said, giving up on his failed attempt at remembering.

"What, you talkin' about Zelda?" Ryu stated, as if it were obvious.

Marth turned back to him in surprise. "You know her name?"

"Yeah" Ryu stated, as if it were obvious. "Zelda, Peach, and Lucina." He said as he started walking away.

"Oh yeah" he said suddenly, turning back to face them again. "Don't forget about Sammy" he said with a smirk.

Shulk and Marth stared at him in confusion.

"How the hell do you know all their names?"

"I just hung out with those broads for like, an hour down by the pool."

* * *

 **YAAAAAAAY ! THE START OF TYHE GREAT ADVENTUREEE!3**

 **im really lookingg forward to righting the rest iof this storry for you guys!**

 **and again i wanna to thank my editor for the fabulus job theyve been doing!**

 **theyre soo nice about it and r really helpful in trying to help me klearn how to write like Jay K. Rowling! p.s. harry potter is the best!**

 **SEE YOUI GUTYS NEXT TIMEE!3333,3**


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